Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

tennant-tate:

The Unicorn and the Wasp

The Doctor: Ginger beer!

Davenport: I beg your pardon?

The Doctor: I need ginger beer!

Mrs. Hart: The gentleman’s gone mad!

(The Doctor grabs a bottle of ginger beer, drinks some and pours the rest over his head and shoulders.)

Agatha: I’m an expert in poisons, Doctor. It’s fatal! There’s no cure!

The Doctor: (spits out drink and grips table) Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal. Protein! I need protein!

(breathes rapidly as Donna and Agatha search the shelves)

Donna: Walnuts! (brings him a jar)

The Doctor: Brilliant! (pours them into his mouth and tries to talk)

Donna: I can’t understand you (He flaps a hand at her.)How many words?(He holds up one finger)One. One word.(He makes a “shaking” motion with his hand) Shake? Milk? Shake? Milk? Milk! No, not milk. Shake, shake, shake, cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?

The Doctor: (swallows) Harvey Wallbanger?!

Donna: Well, I don’t know!

The Doctor: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?

Agatha: What do you need, Doctor?

The Doctor: (repeating his miming) Salt! I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty!

Donna: (shows him a brown bag) What about this?

The Doctor: What is it?

Donna: It’s salt.

The Doctor: That’s too salty!

Donna: (exasperated) Oh, that’s too salty.

Agatha: What about this? (She holds out a jar. He looks at it, goes “mm”, opens it and downs the contents.)

Donna: What’s that?

Agatha: Anchovies.

(The Doctor gestures again, hands up, palms out, with an exaggerated “surprised” expression.)

Donna: What is it? What else? It’s a song! Mammy! I don’t know, Camptown Races?

The Doctor: (swallowing again) Camptown Races?!

Donna: Well, all right then, Towering Inferno!

The Doctor: It’s a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock!

Donna: All right, then, big shock coming up. (She grabs him and snogs him hard. Finally she lets him go. He exhales a black smoke.)

(via coracrawley)